I have made an effort to be a good person. If I can keep pretending to be a good person, then that is no different from actually being one── she murmurs quietly to herself, half convincing herself. This is a memorable panel from a certain manga.
There was a contrast between "natural" and "cultivated." The "natural" "good person" interacts with others in a genuine, unpretentious way, and their very presence soothes those around them. Witnessing this, the "cultivated" woman feels a painful awareness of her own clumsiness and artificiality. No matter how much effort she puts in, she feels she can never reach the purity of the "natural," and a sharp ache stirs deep in her chest.
However, she realizes in the end that no matter how distant her ideal self may seem, the fact remains that she has been taking steps toward that ideal one by one. It is precisely because she continues to take action every day that value is created in the "self who strives to become." The quality of effort does not matter, and talent is absolutely not an issue. It is the overwhelming amount accumulated over a long time that shapes a person.
A series of small trials and errors. Each one, like countless droplets of water, eventually forms a vast ocean, nurturing the existence called "me" into something beyond mere "cultivation." Over time, this accumulation breaks through the shell of "cultivation," becoming one's own individuality and the shades of one's way of life.
Of course, the “natural” sparkle is dazzling. However, both purity and artifice are expressions of humanity. It is through the journey to that point—through choices and trial and error—that each person’s unique story emerges. As a “cultivated” self, I somehow felt saved by the realization she came to in the manga.